Job 2:11–13 (NIV)
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One of the greatest gifts God can give us in life is genuine friendship.
I have been blessed to have people in my life who genuinely care about my well-being. Our relationships are not transactional or based upon positions or what we can do for one another. They are simply friendships built through enjoying each other's presence and sharing life together.
There are people in my life who I know would drop everything to come and see me, and I would do the same for them.
That is the nature of genuine friendship.
Friendship is relational, not transactional.
However, friendship is also two-way. Sometimes we can have unrealistic expectations of others that we are not fulfilling ourselves. We want people to call us, but do we call them? We want people to check on us, but do we check on them? We want people to be present when we are struggling, but are we present when they are struggling?
Perhaps one of the greatest biblical examples of friendship is David and Jonathan.
Jonathan was the son of King Saul and naturally stood in line to his father's throne. Yet Jonathan recognised that God's hand was upon David. He didn't view David's success as a threat to his own status.
Jonathan told him:
“You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you.” — 1 Samuel 23:17 (NIV)
That is an extraordinary statement.
Jonathan loved David enough to desire God's purposes for David even when those purposes affected his own position.
True friendship celebrates what God is doing in another person's life without turning their success into our competition.
Can you genuinely celebrate when your friend succeeds?
Can you pray for them to become everything God has called them to be, even if they go further than you?
Jonathan also risked his relationship with his own father to protect David when Saul wanted him dead. Scripture describes the bond between Jonathan and David as a deep covenant friendship.
But perhaps the most striking picture of friendship in today's passage is much simpler.
When Job's friends heard about his suffering, they came.
They didn't send Job a message saying, “Thinking of you.”
They left their homes and travelled to be with him.
When they saw him, his suffering had changed his appearance so dramatically that they could hardly recognise him. They wept. They tore their robes. They put dust on their heads.
And then they did something incredibly powerful:
They sat with him.
For seven days and seven nights, they said nothing.
Sometimes friendship doesn't need an answer; it needs a presence.
One of the mistakes Job's friends make later is that they start trying to explain his suffering. They offer theological and philosophical explanations for something they don't fully understand. Ironically, some of their best ministry to Job happens before they open their mouths.
There are moments when your friend doesn't need a sermon.
They don't need you to explain why something happened.
They don't necessarily need another Bible verse sent to them.
Sometimes they simply need to know:
“I'm here. You don't have to walk through this alone.”
We see something similar in Jesus.
Jesus had a genuine relationship with Lazarus, Mary and Martha. When Lazarus died and Jesus arrived in Bethany, Mary came to Him grieving.
John tells us:
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. — John 11:33–35 (NIV)
Jesus knew that He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead.
Yet He still wept with His friends.
Knowing the answer did not prevent Jesus from entering into their pain.
That's friendship.
I also think there is wisdom in recognising that we cannot have this depth of relationship with everybody. Jesus loved many people, ministered to crowds and had twelve disciples, but within the twelve we repeatedly see Peter, James and John accompanying Him at significant moments.
We need community, but we also need a few relationships where we can be genuinely known.
So during today's fast, don't only ask, “Who is there for me?”
Ask another question:
“Who am I there for?”
I have been blessed to have people in my life who genuinely care about my well-being. Our relationships are not transactional or based upon positions or what we can do for one another. They are simply friendships built through enjoying each other's presence and sharing life together.
There are people in my life who I know would drop everything to come and see me, and I would do the same for them.
That is the nature of genuine friendship.
Friendship is relational, not transactional.
However, friendship is also two-way. Sometimes we can have unrealistic expectations of others that we are not fulfilling ourselves. We want people to call us, but do we call them? We want people to check on us, but do we check on them? We want people to be present when we are struggling, but are we present when they are struggling?
Perhaps one of the greatest biblical examples of friendship is David and Jonathan.
Jonathan was the son of King Saul and naturally stood in line to his father's throne. Yet Jonathan recognised that God's hand was upon David. He didn't view David's success as a threat to his own status.
Jonathan told him:
“You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you.” — 1 Samuel 23:17 (NIV)
That is an extraordinary statement.
Jonathan loved David enough to desire God's purposes for David even when those purposes affected his own position.
True friendship celebrates what God is doing in another person's life without turning their success into our competition.
Can you genuinely celebrate when your friend succeeds?
Can you pray for them to become everything God has called them to be, even if they go further than you?
Jonathan also risked his relationship with his own father to protect David when Saul wanted him dead. Scripture describes the bond between Jonathan and David as a deep covenant friendship.
But perhaps the most striking picture of friendship in today's passage is much simpler.
When Job's friends heard about his suffering, they came.
They didn't send Job a message saying, “Thinking of you.”
They left their homes and travelled to be with him.
When they saw him, his suffering had changed his appearance so dramatically that they could hardly recognise him. They wept. They tore their robes. They put dust on their heads.
And then they did something incredibly powerful:
They sat with him.
For seven days and seven nights, they said nothing.
Sometimes friendship doesn't need an answer; it needs a presence.
One of the mistakes Job's friends make later is that they start trying to explain his suffering. They offer theological and philosophical explanations for something they don't fully understand. Ironically, some of their best ministry to Job happens before they open their mouths.
There are moments when your friend doesn't need a sermon.
They don't need you to explain why something happened.
They don't necessarily need another Bible verse sent to them.
Sometimes they simply need to know:
“I'm here. You don't have to walk through this alone.”
We see something similar in Jesus.
Jesus had a genuine relationship with Lazarus, Mary and Martha. When Lazarus died and Jesus arrived in Bethany, Mary came to Him grieving.
John tells us:
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. — John 11:33–35 (NIV)
Jesus knew that He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead.
Yet He still wept with His friends.
Knowing the answer did not prevent Jesus from entering into their pain.
That's friendship.
I also think there is wisdom in recognising that we cannot have this depth of relationship with everybody. Jesus loved many people, ministered to crowds and had twelve disciples, but within the twelve we repeatedly see Peter, James and John accompanying Him at significant moments.
We need community, but we also need a few relationships where we can be genuinely known.
So during today's fast, don't only ask, “Who is there for me?”
Ask another question:
“Who am I there for?”
Reflection
Who are the people you would genuinely describe as close friends?
What makes those relationships different from your other relationships?
Is there someone you need to check on, encourage or simply spend time with?
Perhaps you recognise that you don't currently have these kinds of friendships. Make that part of your prayer today: ask God to help you recognise and intentionally nurture genuine friendships.
What makes those relationships different from your other relationships?
Is there someone you need to check on, encourage or simply spend time with?
Perhaps you recognise that you don't currently have these kinds of friendships. Make that part of your prayer today: ask God to help you recognise and intentionally nurture genuine friendships.
Prayer
Father, thank You for the gift of friendship. Thank You for the people You have placed in my life who genuinely know me, love me and walk alongside me. Help me to recognise and nurture those relationships rather than taking them for granted. Teach me to be the kind of friend I desire others to be to me: faithful, present, encouraging and willing to listen. Remove selfishness, competition and transactional thinking from my relationships. Help me to celebrate what You are doing in the lives of others and to desire Your best for them. Give me wisdom to know when to speak and when simply to be present. And for those who feel alone today, I pray that You would lead them into genuine, godly friendships and community. In Jesus’ name, Amen.